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"What the Hell?"
"What the Hell?" is the third Episode of Red vs. Blue: Reliving Blood Gulch. It aired 5 days early on August 26th 2011 due to a week long delay in the last episode. Characters Blue Team *Epsilon-Church *Lavernius Tucker *Michael J. Caboose *Shelia Red Team *Sarge *Dick Simmons *Dexter Grif *Franklin Delano Donut *Lopez the Heavy *The Puma Tex *Epsilon-Tex *New York *Delta *Omega Project Freelancer *Maine (Sponser Only) Plot Blue Team The Episode begins with Tucker dragging Church's body to the safety of the base. He tells Caboose to quickly call for a medic. Then goes back outside to combat the Reds. Sarge and Grif are seen running towards Blue Base firing their weapons. Tucker begins to fire his DMR at each of them. When he hits Sarge in the shoulder Sarge and Grif run for the safety of the rocks. Tucker realizes the Blue Team teleporter is over in that area and goes up to the top of Blue Base. "This has to work." he says as he throws a grenade at the teleporter. The grenade however bounces off the back wall to him. "Well fuckberries...." Tucker says as the grenade hits him. He gets back up and runs and jumps off the top of Blue Base to the ground below. He then begins to hear some Country music and sees a jeep coming straight at him. "Woah what the fuck!" Tucker shouts. "Is that a Puma!" Simmons on the turret begins to fire yelling "Suck it Blue!". As Lopez begins to lessen the distance between the puma and Tucker Tucker runs into Blue Base. Lopez attempts to step on the brake but Donut, who is in pasenger, grabs his foot telling him he nearly stepped on Donut's expensive new purse. The Warthog crashes into Blue Base causing the grenade to fall into the jeep. Red Team Sarge and Grif are behind the rocks. Sarge is muttering many profanities. Grif looks at him. "This wouldn't have happened if you'd just let me keep sniping you know." "Sniping... is for... cowards." Sarge replies. "Oh yea well sniping is also for those who don't get shot in the shoulder!" Grif retorts. "Ah shut up Dirtbag. Now we need to find a way to sneak around to Blue Base. They quickly hear Country music, a scream, and a crash. "Well Sarge. I think they're distracted. Lets start sneaking." Grif says. "Your right Grif, lets go get us some Blues." Sarge says. Tex "Well that hurt." York says. "Nice job defeating the soldiers Tex. That was the best solution." Delta remarked. "I just liked to see that last soldier dying in agony. Being torn apart by the vacuum in space only to end up cut in half. How I now want all of you taken out. Mwahahahahahah. Omega said. "Whatever. I did what I thought was quickest. But now they know where we are. We have to hurry." Tex said picking up a shotgun from behind the pillar she was holding onto, cocking it, and begining to fast walk out of the room." "Well what do you know." York said. "What?" Tex asked stopping to look at him. "It looks like my vision is starting to come back in my eye. Still hurts like a.... well you though." York replied. "Haha. Remind me to laugh next time. Now don't say anything unless its something important... something related to our escape." "Mwahahaaha And call me a bitch again and I'll tear your dick off and feed it to you. Mwahahahahaha! Omega said. "Woah ok. Doesn't sound like fun. Now look Tex why do we need to leave? What are you trying to escape from? So you killed an Agent. All they will do is deduct a few... well all of yours points. And I thought those didn't matter to you." "Look. I told you when we are out of all this I"ll tell you." "Tex you can tell me or I'll leave." "Please York. We both know that as much as we are friends if you try and leave I'll kill you. And if you think you can beat me... look at Montana. Or..." Tex looked at the blood splattered wall and the torso of the dead soldier, "you could ask him." "Point taken." York said and the two continued down the halls. Church In this final 30 seconds to the episode(For non sponsers) Church appears in what appears to be an empty and desert looking Blood Gulch(Really using the map Battle Creek from Halo: Combat Evolved Anniversery forged to appear as Blood Gulch as it did in BGC). He looks around the canyon and asks. "What the hell?" He looks around again. "Where the hell am I?" Sponser Ending Agent Maine begins to watch as Church's body is dragged into the base from the top of the canyon walls above. "Thats the target command?" he asks. "Yes Maine hes your target." A non Freelancer who has a beacon. Why was this soldier so important? Well guess I'll find out soon enough he thought as he prepared to go down from the cliff walls. Trivia *There was supposed to be a scene involving C.T., Washington, Wyoming, and Gamma, however it was very short only the four saying that they've located Agents Tex and York. It was filmed yet not released. The creator is currently debating whether or not to put this on the DVD as a deleted scene or insert it between the Tex and Church segmants. *The first person to correctly guess where Church is and why Maine is at Blood Gulch shall recieve an early release of Episode Four. *This episode is currently the creators favorite of all hes released so far.